It’s February, and love is in the air. You can smell it wafting around; it gets stuck in your throat and makes you sneeze, your eyes itch and your nose run… or maybe that’s just the cedar pollen.
Valentine’s day is here, but it’s not too late to find a steamy hot date. Love may be hard to find, but it’s not at all difficult to find the man of your dreams in Tokyo. He’s probably right around the corner. He’s probably just warming up, waiting to fall into your hands. Still not sure how to find him? Don’t worry, I’m here to help you find your perfect man.
First, you need to know where your perfect man is waiting. Just like the apps, the shops in Tokyo where they reside can differ in quality and type. Which one of these convenient places is right for you?
Where can you meet a man in Tokyo?
New to the dating scene? A little nervous to get started? Maybe you need a simple introduction to your man. He might be a little plain, a little fluffy, and lacking in substance, but a Family Mart man is a safe choice. He might not be the most exciting, but he’ll be there when you need him.
Heres the type of man you may come across in Family Mart…
Niku Man: You see this man everywhere. He’s about as plain as they come. But he’s always there for you. He won’t make you the happiest person on earth, but he’ll at least fill you up.
Cheese Niku Man: An upgraded version of the standard Niku man. He seems the same as every other man, but deep down, he has something special. He’s just a little extra at his core- it’s nice when your man can be a little cheesy.
Pizza Man: All fluff, no meat. He’s boring, but he won’t cheat on you. Not as hot as his 7/11 cousin, but less cheesy. Less likely to sell out. Reliable if you want a safe option.
Yakisoba Man: He seems like a good guy at first, but he’s really got no substance. Typical false advertisement. The type to use a photo of his best friend while being the blurred dude in the background. A lot of the man you find at Family Mart are decent, but you still need to watch out for ones like this.
Taiwanese Noodle Man: If you like your man to be a little spicy, a little more flavorful, maybe try the man that is just visiting for a while. He has more personality but may also keep you guessing. What does he really want? What are we? Well, he might not stick around long enough for you to find out…
Tandoori Chicken Man: Showing that man come in all shapes and sizes. Good personality; this man isn’t afraid to stand out from the crowd. If you want a little a little adventure in your life, he might just be the man for you.
Like Tinder, it’s a total crap shoot what man you end up with. A mix of man means you could end up with an average niku man, or the premium pizza man, and in between is all the ups and downs that come along the way.
Heres the type of man you could swipe right on in 7/11…
Niku Man: Just because he’s the OG doesn’t mean he’s all that. Old, tired, and boring, can’t keep up with the newer man. He’s so jaded, and no amount of mustard can teach this old dog new tricks. That doesn’t mean you won’t see a lot of other people with this man- but do they look happy?
Large Niku Man: If you like em’ big, nothing is chunkier. Just like the original but filled with more disappointment. It isn’t the size, but the quality of the meat that matters; and this meat is not quality.
Pizza Man: He’s hot. Really hot- and full of all the things that are really important. Like love, loyalty, and cheese. He’ll treat you right and won’t let you down. But you need to get to him quickly- leave him waiting and he’ll start to get a little soggy on you.
An Man: If you like your man to be sweet, there’s no better man for you (unless the elusive custard man is around, but you know how hard he can be to find…). Good with children, this mild-mannered man will fit comfortably in both your hand and your life. He’ll help you forget all the other man from your past, and before you know it, you’ll be spending all your time together and you’ll be kilos heavier.
Has some potential- but don’t let your guard down just yet. The man you meet here you’ve seen before; you keep running into him around the city. You probably don’t have strong feelings about this man, but there’s something about him that keeps catching your eye.
Heres the type of man you may have a meet-cute with at Lawson…
Niku man: You keep seeking the same man while expecting different results. It’s time to move on; try something new.
Pizza Man: With him, it’s better not to think- just feel it out. If you take things too seriously and look deep inside, you might be disappointed. If you think about it too much, you’ll just ruin the good thing you’ve got going.
Chocolate Man: Oh he’s a total charmer- but he can be hard to find. He’s sweet if you can get his attention, but he’ll most likely ghost you after the second date.
An Man: His hobbies are driving, golf, and drinking. He acts cute but askes for your cup size during the first conversation. All his photos are of the neighbor’s dog and bowls of instant ramen.
You might have to go a bit out of the way, but the man you find here might be worth the extra steps. But just because he plays hard to get doesn’t mean he’s worth it. A lot of them here talk a big game but don’t necessarily deliver.
Heres the type of man you might discover at Mini Stop…
Niku Man: I told you, it’s time to stop. You know these man are all the same. You need to recognize what you really want and need out of a man- or you’re going to end up with another mouthful of disappointment.
Pizza Man: He thinks he’s well-traveled, but this is the type of man that’s mostly just full of steam. The type of man who uses ketchup as a substitute for spaghetti sauce. You may get along at first, but after a while you discover that he’s not a really a man at all, but just two spongy pancakes pretending to be Italian.
Butter Chicken Man: Another man that’s a bit confused, but he’s got the spirit. A lot more engaging than some of the others you find at Mini Stop; he’s good company. Tough exterior but a softy on the inside.
Some other places you can find you man include…
With all the appeal of being hit on during your morning commute, this is probably not your first choice of man. But if you just need something convenient, something quick and easy, you may find yourself with this man… Ok for a one-time fling, but don’t make a habit of it or you may find yourself in trouble.
The man you meet after the club closes and you are stumbling home. You know it’s not really what you are looking for, but it’ll work for just one night.
This is an invite only kind of thing. If you find one of these, you’ll find everything from your vegan hipsters to your high-powered sugar daddies, but you’ll be competing with everyone else to get your hands on this bougie man.
This man will probably try to tempt you with talk of his connections to a big company, and before you know it, you’re in a pyramid scheme. Or he’ll tell you about his favorite conspiracy… you’ve been warned.
Circle K Sunkus
A rare man indeed… if you like your man to come with a bit of danger and mystery, check out this elusive hub. You might find the man of your dreams… or realize that you never needed a man in the first place.
Is the Man of your dreams really in Tokyo…?
As always, finding the perfect man for you means swiping left through a lot of fluff. But don’t give up- with this guide and plenty of shops around the city, I have confidence that it’s possible for everyone to find their perfect man. Or, at least one you’re willing to settle for.
(Special thanks to Maddy and Ashleigh for being the perfect woMAN to help with this silly article)